how did i get here? lets take it back to the begining, squre one where it all started. i gotta fucked up family to start it all off. i use to have the typical family with a mom and a dad, my big brother. at the age of five my parents gotta divorced. my mama found a new man and got knocked up by him twice. pops/papa/daddy missed out on my childhood …i mean most of my life that i have lived. hes a busy man i dont blame him. mama was diagnosed with cancer… breast cancer. she went through a year of kemotheropy got that tity removed. shes my soldier. but that wasnt the end of it about two years passed and she was ill for a long periods of time, not knowing what it was coming from she never really got it checked out. coming from a low income family having our pockets grained from medical bills. she brushed if off her shoulder as if was nothing, playing everything off as if she was superwomen and to me she was. months passed and she finally went to see a doctor, you wouldnt believe what they told her, but she had cancer for the second time. as little as the age of 12 i really didnt have a full understanding of what cancer was. but thinking that shed be okay just like how she manage to handle it the first time. april 2006 she passed away. all i have to say is that i know shes at a better place than suffering on mother earth. under the custody of my diseased mother i moved to san diego. my brother went off the college and my sibbiling where left with my dead beat exfather-in-law. my uncle became my legal guardian but he didnt do much but let me be on my own, to solve my own problems. three years passed and he basicly kicked me to the curve. its not really like that but he lefted me in mira mesa and moved to esco with is wife and throw money in my face that he had bin getting after the death of my mom. let me clearify that a lil more i basically get a certain amout of money each month from the goverment after the death of my mama. since then i started to manage it. and you might think its all going pocket but its not, its all being put toward bills such as rent and saving if i ever get a chance to go to a good 4 year college. i still live with family but they arent my caretakers nor my guardian more like roomates. and three of my roomates are moving out and idk what the hell to do? i honeslty cant believe that im growing up now and i wish i was still a lil culeless kid that had nothing to worry about.

i didnt post this to get sympothy… i posted this to get this shit off my chest and yeah i do feel better. what can i say mi niggs hard times hard times.

sincerely,  monica sok